Seriously, I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres

This may just be the funniest book I've ever read. It's all about how Ellen DeGeneres sees the world. If you haven't seen her show, GO NOW. If you like laughing I can almost guarantee that you'll love her. I don't have much to say about this other than I didn't give it 5 stars because well, it was sort of a biography... I don't know but it wasn't like Divergent where I fantasized about it day and night and found a book boyfriend and had book withdrawal when the series ended. It kept me reading though and made me laugh so that counts for something right?

"Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”

“My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.” 

“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger. 

Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”

“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”

“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?” 

“Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.” 

“It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.” 

Those are just a few of the quotes in this book that made me laugh hysterically.  I can't wait to read her other books!